4 Steps to Recover from Tough Times: Bouncing Back when Life Takes a Swing at You

Mike Tyson was once quoted as saying, “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”

It’s amazing how shaken we can get and how much we can feel disoriented or lose sight of our direction when life takes a swing at us. Let me offer a few thoughts on how to approach that and get yourself back on track.

First, do your very best to maintain an attitude of hope! It’s very easy to slip into doom and gloom in a tough time, over-exaggerate problems, and lose hope. Think back to other challenges that you’ve had and remind yourself that you made it through challenges in the past. When going through tough times you have a choice of what you chose to focus on in your mind and thoughts. You do have a choice of how you will view this time.

And, this is so important to start with this, because when you are in a time that knocks you down, these circumstances will likely make you bitter or better. Although bitterness, or being trapped in an attitude of resentment or pain from the past, can grip you quickly, it doesn’t always overtake a person in one specific instance. Bitterness is compounding. Each instance that isn’t processed well adds a measure of bitterness to a persons attitude. The scary part is that bitterness is consuming and it limits ones mental health and potential in life.

On the other hand, you can look at this time as objectively as possible and make a conscious choice that you will allow this to make you better. To learn what you can from this issue. To practice empathy, control emotions, and gain the strength of a gentle and composed individual.

Number two, get some perspective. When we are in the middle of a tough time, it’s so easy to get overwhelmed and have a distorted view of what is happening in life. I’m not diminishing the situation, but merely suggesting that perspective is powerful.

Imagine that I have a book in my hands and I hold the pages within and inch from my face. It would be hard to see and read the text clearly. Why? Because I can’t get it in focus. However, if I pull back, I can see it more clearly.

When faced with a tough time, we have to do our best to step back from the situation and get some perspective. Ask yourself – “what is really happening here? What is causing this? Is it really as bad as it seems? Is there something good that could come out of this? Is there a pathway through this that I’m not considering?

A good way to approach this is to consider what advice you may give someone else. Tough times can be so “personal” that it can cause us to have a lot of emotion wrapped up in them. Imagine for a moment that a friend came to you with this same situation. Imagine they told you a story of them being in the same situation that you are in. Imagine that you could view these circumstances going on in their life. Now, remove the emotions of this personally impacting you. How would you respond to them?

How would you view this if it wasn’t personal? What advice might you give them? Would it appear that they are assuming the worst or does look like fear is playing a role to blow the situation out of proportion? Is there a comfort that you would offer because you can see a path forward or maybe light at the end of the tunnel?

If you have a friend that you consider wise, honest, and trustworthy, maybe consider connecting with them. Ask them to be honest with you and do your best not to be offended if they share truth with you that you don’t particularly want to hear.

Perspective is powerful when going through a tough time.

Number three, take responsibility for what you can. Definitely don’t beat yourself up and try to avoid self pity. However, ask yourself, is there anything that I could have done differently in the what led up to this time or event? Is there anything that I could do right now to improve things? Being honest with yourself is important.

It can be tempting to relieve some pressure off of yourself during this time by avoiding working through these questions and responsibility, but over the long run it will be in your best interest to be honest with yourself, take responsibility where necessary, and position yourself for a better, more confident future.

And number four, when life takes a swing, it can feel like we aren’t in control of everything (side note – if we’re a control freak, this can be especially hard and it may be good to consider working through some of those issues….but I digress). Back to the point – we can feel as thought we’re not really in control and also feel a bit overwhelmed. These feelings can be some of the hardest to deal with because they can leave us feeling a bit vulnerable.

So what do we do about that? Consider what is in your control or what you do have the ability to influence. Also, consider the things that are actually functioning or going right in life and focus on those areas. Build on what is going well. Influence or manage parts of life that you can control. Do this, even if these are small steps, and build a sense of stability in some areas of life. This will help to build a base of small steps and victories that can be truly helpful in moving forward and encouraging yourself.

Your past most certainly works to shape who you are today, however, your past doesn’t need to determine your future. This too shall pass. Keep your eyes and heart set on what is healthy and productive.

Until next time….Be Wise!